Bowling used to be a sport for everyone of all ages and now it caters only to the healthy young adult that does not really care about bowling. I have not seen a sign but I suspect they have them that say “Caution: if you suffer from asthma, light sensitivity, dizziness or poor night vision you should avoid bowling as it may result in injury or death.”
Why when I go bowling do I have to listen to Christina Aguillera and the like while I throw my ball down an almost invisible black lane with star shaped lights dancing all around in an artificial-smoke filled room? Bowling alleys have become clubs for teenagers and I can’t stand it. More and more bowling establishments are Cosmicking their alleys and extending their “dark hours” earlier into the day so that we have no choice but to bowl while we glow. When I bowl nowadays I can’t help but think of a popular hymn that states “where can I turn for peace” saddened that there is not enough silence for me to hear the pins explode as I clear the deck; coming one frame closer to winning the coveted 7-Eleven Slurpee at the end of the game.
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11 comments:
I long for the days of a naturally smoke-filled alley.
Congratulations Nate! You've officially become old. You sit there and complain about how things were different in your day, and that now there is too much noise, too many lights, and too many kids dickin around. You just want things to be simple again.
Its funny because a 85 yr old guy came walking into my store the other day and started bitchin about how his kids want him to get a cell phone. He sat here for an hour telling me how ridiculous phones are today. "Why do I need a camera on a phone? Why the hell do I want to play music on a phone. All I want is a simple phone. One to make a call and thats it. All these damn kids have a phone up to their ear all day, driving while on the phone, playing games, texting, and who knows what else. Kids today! G**damn kids!" Thats what he said. And then he walked out without a phone.
But its funny because we all have cell phones. They are a nessecity now. Or so we think. Who doesn't have a phone? Even if your a broke college student, you still have a phone.
So the point is, the kids of today will remember Cosmic Bowling as on of their favourite activities when they are older. They will remenisce about the old days of how your shirt would glow and show all your intriguing stains, about how cool it was to dance in the tempermental rave-like lighting, and about how it was all about just hanging out with friends and not just bowling.
You remember the bowling alley as haven for fat men and the never ending tap of cheap beer. You are now too old and the younger generation has takin over. Its sad but the closest bowling alleys that resemble our memories are the ones on state and 21st south and the junction.
If you want to see bowling as it truely was..check this story out
http://www.enquirer.com/editions/2000/10/08/loc_samples_pin_setters.html
I'm assuming the intriguing stains on your shirt are semen-based?
Bowling is not just a sport but a lifestyle. I continue to bowl weekly with Jon and Logan Lanes is better than many places for its lighting but nothing beats popnpins in Preston. Oh and Derrek Ryan inspired me and come may and my contract is up I am going phone free because it is not a necessity embrace the 85 year old in you.
everything i learned about life i learned from my bowling league
Do I really sound old?
Bowling alleys have become clubs for teenagers and I can’t stand it
hopefully that quote from your post answers your question!
hopefully that quote from your post answers your question!
I am not on a "diet." I am eating more healthy.
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